


Pouncing

by imaginary_golux



Series: Pounced [1]
Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-07
Updated: 2011-07-07
Packaged: 2017-10-21 02:52:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/220080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginary_golux/pseuds/imaginary_golux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maladicta has an existential crisis.  Written for Porn Battle X.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pouncing

"It's a bit difficult, you know," Maladicta says.

"Oh? What is?" replies Polly distractedly. She is trying to get the fire to light.

"Well, I'm a female vampire, right? So I ought to be seducing handsome young men."

"Right," says Polly vaguely. The wood is a bit damp.

"But I'm dressed as a man - or at least in a uniform. So clearly I should be pouncing on nubile young women."

"Oh...kayy," Polly says. This sounds a little like an existential crisis. Polly checks the pack surreptitiously - there's still plenty of coffee.

"So clearly I need to be seducing handsome young men while _simultaneously_ pouncing on nubile young women," Maladicta concludes. "You can see how this might be difficult."

"Of course," Polly assures her. "But, I mean, you're a Black Ribboner now, right? So isn't all the pouncing and seducing a bit...well...moot?"

"It's the _principle_ of the thing," says Maladicta sulkily. "I know drinking coffee is not what I'm _meant_ to be doing, as a vampire, you know, so I want to know what precisely I'm _refusing_ to do. So I can refuse it more pointedly." Polly glances at her friend's hands, which are quivering a little with suppressed something.

"Well," she says slowly, "I admit I don't see how you can seduce young men and pounce on young women at the same time. Not, mind you, that I am advocating either the seducing or the pouncing, much less both at once."

Maladicta looks shifty, which is rather startling. "I was thinking," she says slowly, as though the words are dangerous, "that I could seduce someone who looks like a young man, but _is_ a young woman, and then pounce on them."

Polly opens her mouth to say, "But the only person around here who looks like a man and is really a woman is _me_!" and then shuts it abruptly and looks sharply at Maladicta. Eventually, once her brain has stopped fizzing, she says, instead, "If that was a proposition..."

"Yes?" says Maladicta, warily.

"It was one of the worst ones I've ever heard, and I accept."

It takes Maladicta a few moments to sort out what she's just heard, and then Polly finds herself flat on her back with an amorous vampiress atop her. Maladicta is both surprisingly warm and surprisingly heavy, and also is very definitely kissing Polly. Polly kisses back eagerly. She's thought about this a couple of times, though never when she thought Maladicta was around, and she is not going to waste this opportunity.

It's a good thing she got that fire lit, because it's cold out once Maladicta gets all of Polly's clothes off. The heat in Maladicta's eyes is almost better than the fire, though, and Polly forgets for a moment that she's flat-chested and not terribly beautiful, and preens under her friend's - lover's? - admiring gaze. Then Maladicta is touching her, and Polly is trying to reciprocate, and it's clumsy and awkward and absolutely wonderful, lying there with Maladicta, seeing what makes her moan or squeak or whimper, and being explored in turn.

When they're done exploring, sated and content, they lie tangled around each other beside the fire. Maladicta murmurs something against Polly's neck. Polly thinks hazily that most people would not be comfortable with a vampire's face against their necks, and says, "Wha?"

"I said," says Maladicta sheepishly, "Thank goodness. I thought for sure you'd laugh at me."

Polly grins into the night and hugs her lover closer. "Never. You're welcome to seduce or pounce on me anytime."

"Oh good," says Maladicta, and they fall asleep.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] Pouncing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1985112) by [imaginary_golux](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginary_golux/pseuds/imaginary_golux), [reena_jenkins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reena_jenkins/pseuds/reena_jenkins)




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